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Tuesday, November 17, 2009 09:15 p.m.
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Ten.
I've decided that I want to sleep now, since I'm absolutely tired of studying econs and continuing to study is just going to be counter-productive. I'm going to sleep in 5! Feel like writing down some of my favourite songs :)
Favourite Songs of All-Time
(in no particular order)
1. Slow Dancing in A Burning Room - John Mayer
2. Bold As Love - John Mayer
3. Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
4. Flying Without Wings - Westlife
5. Candle in the Wind - Elton John
6. Here, There and Everywhere - The Beatles
7. A Song For You - Michael Buble
8. Give It Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers
9. Kiss - Prince
10. I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night - Kiss
I secretly want to have a Kiss Party on a yacht where all my friends put make-up on their faces with different designs of the Kiss band members, wear their hair in weird styles and stick their tongues out for fun.
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Monday, November 16, 2009 08:17 p.m.
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Nine.
Four More Days.
Man, it's been such a long time since I've penned(typed) my thoughts down(out). It's almost the end, yet it feels like it never will.
The past two weeks of my life have been miserable, especially the first day of A's which made me realise that there might be no reason to continue this arduous journey. While most people might've thought that the SEA history paper was manageable, I realised that I was struggling almost all the way through and I am in wonderment of how I managed to even get through to the next day. After bawling my eyes out and deciding to continue with Math, (which was the next day in the AFTERNOON, thank God), I realised that I had misplaced my pencilcase - along with my pencil/pens/ruler/protractor/compass - needed in the exam the following day. Someone tell me how that was not a sucky day at all?
Anyway, I'm just glad that's over but somehow I can't seem to take Results Day out of my mind. A's just seem like I'm going to have such a gloomy future.
Please, let there be options.
Oh well, the start of another week tomorrow, with Chemistry in the morning. Econs is going to be tough for me too.
Help.
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Saturday, August 8, 2009 08:08 p.m.
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Eight.
HAPPY EIGHT DAY!
I've been so bushed with work and everything; just had to have a moment to celebrate!
More updates later! <3
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Saturday, August 1, 2009 06:12 p.m.
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Seven.
I am so pissed.
I know I shouldn't be but I can't help it.
It's supposed to be only school that I have to worry about, and then this.
I honestly think that I'm too nice, and just because I have means and am considered one of the more responsible people on this planet, people take advantage of me. And also because I am a perfectionist-of-sorts. It's like a reflex for me to think ahead especially when I am planning something, or have the responsibility to - that I will do whatever it takes to make sure everything goes well. And because people are aware of that, they push practically all the responsibility to me simply to avoid having to be the one to handle difficult situations. Then, they get the credit for it.
The reason I am so obliging and want to do things for others (sometimes) is precisely because I have the means (more than others) to provide, as well as the fact that I don't like it when people are sad. I know that people are not as well-off as I am so I volunteer to help in whatever way I can.
On normal occasions, I would know how to tell these kind of people off when I feel this way. But what if it's in regards to people whom I have the utmost trust and faith in? It's so difficult to accept the reality of the situation, but it just might be that these people are 'my friends' just to enjoy perks per se. Then it brings attention to my judgement, or misjudgment - that it could've been so impaired just by the thought of having people that you are close to in a team.
Yes, i know.
School, on another note, is turning into the nightmare of the century. Everyday, from 0800 to 2400, I am reading/writing/studying. No breaks at all in between, because in a paradoxical way, I feel that I have control over my life.
It's not something I can really explain, but I guess if you know me well, you'd understand why I am doing this.
I know it's not healthy, and at this rate I'll burn out even before the start of prelims, but I can't help myself. I just feel so lost; without a direction. And the canteen food is really not worth my calorie-intake.
Ugh.
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Thursday, July 23, 2009 06:47 p.m.
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Six.
I'm sick :(
I sure hope it's not the HINI flu, since I've got a stubborn fever and a even more stubborn headache. I can't go to school for the next few days! It'd serve as a good break but I still gotta pick up the slack while at home. Ugh I hate being sick. Hopefully I'll be better by the weekend! :D
I did better for midyears compared to the first block tests, although I have to admit that it wasn't as significant as I would've expected. Just the last sprint to the end of this torture forever!!
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Saturday, July 18, 2009 06:34 p.m.
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Five.
HAHA the funniest thing happened in GP yesterday.
So you know how the new Fisherman's Friend sweets are not packed into those paper/aluminium-y ones anymore; they come all new and improved with a ziplock seal! Well, I just realised that they were so cool and novelty so I bought them to feel proud of myself in lectures/class and to attempt not to fall asleep. Then, being kind and nice I decided to offer my beautiful new packet of sweets to the class. And I suppose that this new packaging is REALLY NEW or something, because the first doode I offered it to TORE THE OPPOSITE END OF THE PACKAGE = useless ziplocking function! OMG I WAS SO SADDDD! Hahahaha but he was so apologetic (IT'S OKAY WIKI!) and it was the last period (the weekend!) and I couldn't stay mad so I ended up laughing like a hyena, which is apparently normal for me to do.
Anyway, I've got lots to catch up on and I finally watched Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. And omg, I couldn't have been more disappointed! The ending was insanely abrupt and the climax was so badly built throughout the movie. I think the only plus points were that the ladies (Megan Fox, the Evil Decepticon Lady) and Josh Duhamel were unbelievably hot :D
Can't wait for Harry Potter on Monday, and Obsessed!
Morning games this Sunday. Dang I hope I can still run :(
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Thursday, July 16, 2009 10:17 p.m.
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Four.
I'm exhausted.
This week was just insane, I kept wanting to fall asleep at 8pm just cause I couldn't keep my eyes open. Anyway, received two out of the four exam results back. I kind of got what I expected, so I'm not feeling too upset over the results or anything. It's just another FOUR MONTHS and it'll be A's! It's all that's on my mind right now and I just can't wait for it to be over! Sijing and I have decided to go on a beach holiday to Bintan CLUB MED WOOHOO after taking SATs and I am so excited. Even tan, here I come! (Gotta get rid of the shorts, socks and jersey lines omg D:)
Which reminds me, GET WELL SOON DEAR!
Today was kind of hectic, spent the day studying my chemistry index card notes for Mr Teo's consultation - all to find out that I have to write it out ALL OVER AGAIN in a different format (aka less words) which is so annoying omg.
Please weekend, come faster.
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Sunday, July 12, 2009 12:11 a.m.
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Three.
I'm so glad that I revived this, really. I kind of haven't been able to take down my thoughts properly for the longest time and I'm just relieved I don't have to keep recalling what I've been doing for the past few days. This week has been the most erratic ever - in terms of emotions and actions and thoughts - OMG PLEASE A LEVELS BE OVER SOON!
I just cut my hair and even though it hasn't changed significantly by length or style, I feel like a new person HAHA which I kind of need, even though I feel like a Japanese doll. And and I went for a facial! All that's left for my beauty regiment is a pedicure, massage and 12 hours of undisturbed sleep.
I'm still undecided about my career prospects and university choices/courses/scholarships etc. and lots of other scary personal things on my mind.
Help!
After thinking about it for a long time, I decided that Spanish would be a cool new language to take, besides French and German. Any other suggestions? Spanish seems like the most realistic choice since it's the fourth most spoken language in the world and there isn't weird letters or characters that I'd have to learn, unlike in Arabic or Chinese or Tamil? Wouldn't it be so cool to be a diplomat in Europe? HAHA thoughts running wild again. Still kind of bent on that job, I don't know why. It seems like the kind of thing that I would enjoy doing, and at the same time earn lots of moolah.
Happy birthday Bong! :D
On a lighter note, can't wait to hang out with my <3 tomorrow!! :D
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Thursday, July 9, 2009 11:05 p.m.
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Two.
I didn't go to school today.
I was so tired of everything, not to mention I spent last night bawling my eyes out watching Michael Jackson's (may he rest in peace) memorial, the Biggest Loser Finale and The Bicentennial Man. Yes I know, call me a loser, but it was just so overwhelming.
First, MJ's public memorial just brought back memories of me as a child, trying to imitate his moves and his signature wolf-yell thing, singing all the songs and knowing every word by heart. I remember being absolutely carefree; that was the only time I think I looked forward to learning, school and friends. Then it made me sad to think that I no longer enjoy learning in school. It isn't that I don't like learning anymore, it's just that the style that's used in school now is just so not my cup of tea. I can totally feel the pressure and I'm so compelled to do well. And I've always felt that I had to do well - now it isn't for my own achievements; but more of for other people/reasons.
Then the Biggest Loser Finale - I know you're not supposed to feel this way - but I felt SO unaccomplished. (I swear I'm going through my third quarter life crisis) I mean, those people could lose 50% of their body weight in several months?! I'm not aiming to be a size zero, by the way, but I don't think I would have the perseverance/motivation/drive to handle something like that EVER. And if studying for this exam is such a tough phase and I'm on the brink of giving up, what does that say about me and my character?
Then Bicentennial Man, I WAS JUST SO SAD WHEN HE DIED! I mean I know he's supposed to die and everything, but I could help but feel COMPLETELY INADEQUATE.
So I've decided to take charge of my life. And missing school today really gave me the opportunity and time to do it, since I never have time for anything.
To-do List:
1. Register for SATs - arrange for lessons if needed and check out the materials to get.
2. Decide on a course to take - Law/Political Science/Econs? Something along those lines. Maybe being a diplomat wouldn't be such a bad idea :D
3. GET MY FOUR As!
4. Plan out a rough idea of the 8 months of freedom after A Levels
- Learn a new language
- Get a diploma in something?
- Work experience
- Remember to plan out some time for other interests (tennis/photography/cooking!!!)
Omg I'm beginning to sound like an over-achiever and everything, but I need to TAKE CHARGE OF MY LIFE and stop procrastinating. There's no time to waste and wait till 1 Jan 2010 to have a new resolution list. AHH this is exciting I can't wait to start planning. For now, my English homework is waiting patiently for me!
No morning assembly tomorrow YAY!
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Tuesday, July 7, 2009 02:16 p.m.
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One.
It's been so long.
I guess this is something that I've really needed for such a long time. I just finished reading all my previous entries and I realised that I've grown, changed.
I always thought that I would know immediately when I changed, but no one ever really knows - because when you are the one undergoing that transition, that change, it doesn't occur to you that you're changing.
Because life passes so quickly.
And it's surprising how easily the codes came to me.
I remember thinking that I didn't need this page to keep up with my own thoughts - but now I'm just really glad that I'm back.
I've missed me.
It's one more day to the end of Block Tests Two, and I fail to feel content yet again. I know that the reason why I can't seem to perform up to expectations is because I procrastinate and need to work a lot harder. I need to set my thoughts and priorities straight first, but there always seems to be so many things to do with so little time. I just don't know what to think right now. It's just another 124 days left to the start of A Levels.
Gotta pick up the pace.
I've recently looked into taking up SATs just to widen my prospects for overseas universities, just in case I decide that there isn't much left more for me here. No universities or courses in mind yet, gotta settle that soon too.
I realised that I actually enjoy my alone time increasingly these few days. I'm gonna try to get myself more of those soon.
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